From the WOW Writes Writing Group - JUNE

Prompt: Write a reality show based on your life:

Beth Gibbs – Will You Escape?

Host: “Welcome to another episode of, you guessed it folks –“

Audience chants, emphasizing each word: “WILL YOU ESCAPE?!”

“Thaaat’s right! Will You Escape! Some call us a game show. Some call it reality television! I say we’re both. We watch a contestant at a critical point in their life to see if they will escape the system. What system, you ask? Well, it depends on the person!

Audience laughs and applauds.

“Let’s take a look at today’s contestant!”
Audience cheers.

“Today we’re going to peek in on our star, a white girl living a middle-class life in Eastern rural Oregon.”

Audience boos.

“Now, now. She might not be in as precarious a life predicament as others in this great nation of the US of A - “

Audience chants: “USA! USA! USA!”

Host laughs and chants along before waving the audience to quiet down. “But back to our contestant. Let’s see what she has stacked against her. A blue screen behind the host lights up with the following:

From Rural America

Female

High rate of teen pregnancies in her high school

Audience cheers.

“And what is stacked in her favor?”
Audience boos.

“Come on now, we all start at different points!

Screen behind host changes to a lighter blue and the text changes:

Academically inclined

Shy and clueless with the boys

Supportive parents

Audience groans.

“Alright, let’s watch and see if she gets out of high school without a baby and gets herself to college!”

Cut to backstage with two of the actors of the reality television show, minus the main star who does not know she’s on a reality television show.

Ryan, sixteen with a great sense of humor (for a sixteen-year-old boy anyway), and a serious Christian. He’s our star’s crush. Little does she know he’ll be taking a path that leads his future to law enforcement, six children, two divorces and questionable voting habits.

Andrew, Ryan’s good friend, also sixteen and also has a good sense of humor (same caveat though). He has a crush on our star that she doesn’t reciprocate. His path, like so many of her peers, also involves a startling number of children but a solid marriage and hopefully less questionable voting habits.

Director, forty-something man who is divorced, lapsed in his religious views and yes, questionable voting habits.

Ryan: “No kiss? What’s the point of this crush if she doesn’t even get a kiss?”

Director: “She’s pining for you but she’s clueless. She misses her opportunity to date you because you asked her out in a public setting. She has such low self-esteem she thought maybe you were messing with her, just joking around.”

Ryan, realization dawning. “Oh. Is that why she asked me to say it in Spanish?”

Andrew snorts.

Director: “Yes. Straight high school girls really would benefit from dating other high school girls through that time period. They would more likely get the romance they want. We dudes just can’t deliver the sort of love letter thoughtful bullshit they desire. So the girls, like our star here, spend much of their time pining over things they can’t have.”

Both boys fall silent, pondering.

Ryan: “But it gets better for them, right?”

Andrew: “Yeah, we work out how to be better I hope.”

Director: “Sorry to tell you boys, it don’t. Not for them. And not for us. We muddle through our twenties, fall in love, get married, have some kids and then the pressure just gets to us both in different ways. It all falls apart when they decide to ‘find themselves’.”

Ryan: “Uh, are we still talking about the show?”

Director, moodily looking out the window before snapping back to attention: “What? Oh, yeah. Sure.”

Andrew: “We’re not all fuckups, right? I’m not going to be.”

Director shakes his head. “I hope not, son. I really hope not.

Cut to the next day, backstage. The producer is there, a woman in her fifties dressed in a red pant suit with aggressive shoulder pads. The director and the two boys are standing in a line in front of her, hanging their heads.

“And what exactly happened?” The woman asks in a low cold tone. It is far more scary than if she was yelling.

“It’s not my fault - “The director starts but she cuts him off with an icy stare.

“Ryan. Can you tell me what happened?” The woman turns to the sixteen-year-old.

“Well, we were flirting in the car and - “

“It was pretty pathetic flirting.” Andrew cuts in.

“Shut up!” Ryan shouts and shoves him.

“Settled down, boys. Now.” The producer’s perfected mom-scold shuts both boys down though Ryan glowers at Andrew. “Ryan, continue.”

“And I realized I like her. Like her like her. Not just because it’s in the script. So I started to -” He pauses and looks down at the ground, scuffling his feet.

The producer cuts off a sigh and takes a deep breath. “What did you start to do?”

“He started to tell her it’s all fake. So I jumped in the backseat and started pretending to rough house to shut him up.” Andrew cuts in. “I wanted to save the show.”

The producer looks up at the ceiling to collect herself. The red in her cheeks starts to fade as she takes a deep breath and looks at Andrew.

“And I appreciate the sacrifice you made. But it did run you off the road. Your mom - “

“She’s not my real mom.” Andrew interrupts.

“No, but she is to our star. So, you hit your mom accidentally getting into the backseat and then your mom - “The producer does air quotes when she says ‘your mom’ before continuing. “- ran you all off the road. We’re so lucky that it was just a spin out on a gravel shoulder and that we’re in the middle of this God forsaken no man’s land so no other cars were coming.”

“So everything is fine.” The director pipes up. “All’s well. The star doesn’t know and no one was hurt.”

“Except now our star is afraid of cars. She was already a REALLY nervous driver. She has to drive herself to college. Over two snowy mountain passes. One of which only gets plowed when Lloyd dries out from the sauce enough to work the snowplow. Am I the only one who sees the issue here?” The producer’s voice has raised a notch. She’s still not yelling but the three males in front of her are quaking now.

Andrew sighs. “I see the problem. I’m sorry.”

“Andrew, I appreciate that. I also appreciate you trying to save the show. Next time maybe just ask some loud questions or find a way to more safely interrupt.”

Andrew nods.

“You’re dismissed.” The producer waves her hand and Andrew shoots off out of sight. The producer turns to the other two. “Now, Ryan. Unfortunately since you’ve developed real feelings for our star, you’re out.”

“What?!” Ryan’s mouth falls open. “That’s not fair!”

“Life and television. Two things that don’t operate on fairness. We’ll have your family move out of town. You can make a cameo for promo or something. I like the idea of her asking you to prom. Taking the lead.” The producer looks thoughtful as she plans out the next season.

“I don’t want to move! Or be off the show. Fuck your cameos!” Ryan turns to the director. “This is all your fault! You said high school girls want romance. What could be more romantic than the truth! It’s not fair!”

Ryan turns and stomps off.

The producer and the director look at each other for a few seconds before the producer speaks.

“You told them high school girls want romance? Without authorization from me?”

“I was just trying to give them advice. For the future. Not for this show.” The director mumbles.

“I see.” The producer lets that hang in the air before finally saying. “You’re fired.”

Lisa Smith - How To Overcome Despite All Odds:

Premise of the show: There is none

There are five judges and 7 contestants

Judge: The judge is my Auntie Betty

The producer is my friend Martine who is an overcomer

The director is my former administrator, Hilary, who is amazing and a leader

1. The first contestant is Ms Know it all who thinks she knows what is best for everyone.

2. Then followed by Mr. Loudmouth who does not matter who he hurts

3. And there is Ms. Shy, who is more resilient than she thinks

4. Then Mr. Follows Everyone, who does not have a mind of his own

5. Then comes Mrs. I Need Help, who does not realize that she is stronger than what she thinks

6. Next is Ms, doubter who does not see the value in herself

7. Lastly, Mr. I think I am more important than everyone, who does not realize that she is

equal to everyone

The contestants started out slowly but Ms. Shy was leading and she did not believe it at all. And last was Mr. Loud who only got louder. Mrs Help only acted clueless. And Mr. Follows Everyone who watched and copied. And Mr. I think I am more important was clueless that he was not winning.

What a sight this was and so much fun because this show will go on despite all the odds one must overcome.

Two contestants were picked:

Ms Shy and Mr Loudmouth.

Ms Shy has ASD and is in a wheelchair while Mr. Loudmouth walks with a cane and has a speech problem. The contest started and Ms Shy was nervous that she spelled her name incorrectly and Mr Loud was getting ready too. The main judge Auntie Betty asked the first question which Mr Loudmouth answered loudly and proudly. Yet to his shock, he was incorrect and he let out a scream “I was right! Ms Shy was shaking in her boots and could hardly speak but gave the answer, and to her surprise she was right, to which Mr. Loud's mouth had to hold his tongue due to the judge giving him a look. He thought he was ready for the next round but to his surprise, Ms shy won again and again. This made Mr Loud anger and anger which scared Ms Shy. But this did not prevent her from winning with a score of 10 to 1. And how loud Mr Loud's mouth became which made no difference.

Ms Shy decided to try again, and Mr Loudmouth was in for another round but then Ms. I Know It All joined in and Mr. I Think I am more important than anyone else. also, everything was going well when all of a sudden, Mr. I Know it All, decided to stand up and take a jug of water and throw it on the floor, which, Mr I Think I am More Important than anyone else walked and slid and injured his right foot.

We all panicked because we were surprised and wondered what would happen. Would we be sued? While we stopped and were thinking Ms Doubter walked up and gave a suggestion which Mr Loudmouth thought was nonsense. But the producer Martine asked Mr. Loudmouth to be quiet and let Ms Doubter speak. When Ms Doubter finished speaking Hilary the director wept because she would not have figured it out. But then Ms I needed help fell too and this time she broke her hand. The director, the producer, and the judge were worried and concerned about the show. But to their amazement, all the other contestants with the help of Ms Shy and Ms Doubter the show went on. “No matter what happens in life,” Auntie Betty the judge said, “in the end, the show must go on so, live life as best as you can.”